Brigstowe

Although I left there for good when I was in my mid-thirties, and now live a good 30 miles to the north of it, the city of Bristol will always be classed very much as home for me.
Perhaps it’s one of those thing where you don’t miss a good thing until it’s no longer in your clutches, but I do miss this place and get nostalgic for it on a regular basis.

Good things about Bristol…well, architecture. Being a medieval city in origin, (original name of Brigstowe, which is Anglo Saxon for stone bridge) it has managed to maintain a good balance of older buildings - the earliest dating back to the mid-12th Century - with some outstanding examples of churches. I was fortunate enough to work in Bristol on several archaeology digs in the mid 80's, and the history of the buildings and people over the last thousand years are a constant source of enlightenment.

Bristolian Speak.

The true traditional Bristolian accent is very heavy on vowel sounds and can best be likened to that of a pirate.

The following is an example of Bristolian...again, think pirate. No, not the Hollywood Caribbean sort, but more your true Long John Silvers and Blackbeards. (Interesting fact #2 - Blackbeard was in fact a gentleman named Edward Teach, from Bristol...who scared his poor victims by braiding his long beard and then setting it alight, so that it would look as if smoke was pouring from his head.) But enough of burning pirates...please consider the following text...

"Ear, eye loikes the looka tha new soap operawl. Snot star tin till nine tho…wanna go owt-en-then come back for starovit? We can grab a pizzall, or summat. They does gert lush uns down Pizzallhut. Finish ee vodkal and I’ll go lava tree."

And translated into the Queen's English, although, in reality, quite unlikely to be used by her royal majestyness at any stage...

"Why, that new TV soap-opera looks jolly entertaining…although it does not commence until nine o’clock. Shall we go out and then come back later to see it? We could have a pizza, or something…I hear they do rather nice ones at Pizza Hut. You finish your vodka and I’ll visit the bathroom."

Although, probably due to posh school and moving away from the city, my accent has tamed somewhat, it never fails to surprise me how easily it slides back in, especially as my proximity to Bristol grows. On the journey there I might comment on the 'fluid luminosity of the landscape' and the way in which the 'dappled light through the forest crosses the fields, like a starry waterfall', but passing the same spot on the return journey home, I'd be more likely to be pointing excitedly out of the window and shouting 'Yer...look at they treez...thems bloody lush!'.

Yummy Cuisine, With Which To Be Seen. #1

This month's top choice for yummy and trendy cuisine, with which to be seen, is the delightful range of new crisps (potato chips to the rest of the world) from Walkers.

Bold and adventurous in both texture and taste, it's hard to pick a personal favourite from the delightful range of new flavours on offer.

The Fish and Chips variety is perhaps the most acceptable for many...and while it doesn't sound over-adventurous, the waft of strong vinegar delivers a strong uppercut upon opening the traditional brightly-coloured...yet always half-empty packets, associated with Walkers...while the first taste that explodes in the mouth is of thick, chip-shop batter. The first taste explosion in the 'Builder's Breakfast' flavour is definitely egg.

Another interesting range of tastes can be discovered in the 'Cajun Squirrel' flavour. They remind me of a short-lived Hedgehog flavour of crisps that came out in the 1980's, but were removed due to over-complaining. It may be my warped sense of humour, or merely a foggy memory from so long ago, but I'm sure they re-released them under a new 'Prickled Onion' range.

If not then they certainly should have.

Cinque Ans.

Youngest daughter turned 15 today.

It made me think back to when I waved nostagically at the battered, worn out #14 steam train, knowing that I would never see it again, and skipped intriguingly across the platform to alight the #15 express...standing shiny and proud in the station.

If I'm perfectly honest then I can't actually remember too much about this time.

I was at school, yet I was trying desperately to get out of it permanently by going for job interviews and lying about my age. I remember being desperately keen not to be at school, and also turning from the goody-goody kid that I had always been, into someone with a lot more anger and defiance against authority.

I remember being gawky and extremely awkward...but probably that's an awfully common thing when looking back to teenage years.

I remember wearing a lot of jeans and brown corduroy trousers. Also sleeveless tops, usually in shades of khaki or undefinable blue.

I remember an awful lot of Boney M music.

Being a nosey so and so and having 10 minutes to kill after coming back from the pub, I dug around a little to try and remember what life was like when I turned 15.

The #1 single in England was 'Night Fever', by The Bee Gees. I remember that disco fever was in full swing and people were attending disco dancing classes by the swarm, so that they could all dance like John Travolta and, of course, doubtless possess the irresistable magnetic charm that he had, in order to wield it over their intended targets on the multi-coloured dance floor at their local discotheque.

A lot of it was really lost on me, as I was never hugely into disco, and in 1978 I was too busy discovering punk and alternative music, because it made loud, unpretty noises and scared old people. (Anyone over 30.)

The top LP - (long playing vinyl disc, containing multiple musical tracks, operated by a 'stylus' and approximately 12 inches in diameter which revolved at 33 and a third revolutions a minute, for anyone under the age of 21) - was 'Abba - The Album'...rather unsurprisingly by the Swedish hit monsters, Abba...and one I think I had in my own collection.

Best TV available on all three of the channels at my 15 year old fingertips would have been 'Wonderwoman'...for some reason(s) I remember that show very well...very, very well.

'Grange Hill' was at its peak for us kids and Starsky & Hutch were the icing on the Saturday evening yummy cake, that was the glorious TV Schedule...when figures of 15 Million bums on sofas per show (or B.O.S.P.S. for short) were not merely fantasy, but considered average.

Top movies...well, Grease was out...sadly...I remember the Summer being infected by the constant drone of 'Sandy-y-y-y' wafting out from transistor radios across the land, until thank God for The Boomtown Rats, who knocked John and Olivia from the #1 spot, after about 3 months of aural torture.

The new Superman movie was much more the ticket for us boy types, and who can remember putting their underpants outside their jeans and parading around in front of the mirror...screaming "Ooooh, look at you...the Man of Steel!!!"

No? Ahh...well...anyways top toys were the bloody annoying 'Simon Says'...a sort of robotic, doughnut shaped, talking machine, Atari games consoles and plastic figures of anything and anyone that had been in the Star Wars movie, which was still huge.

And, that's about all I could find from 1994....*cough*

Interesting Socks of the Month - February, 2009.

I feel it may prove hard to beat this rather dazzling pair. There is a reasonable chance that I may have found the most interesting pair of socks ever created.

Perfect for any occasion and looking to score mighty high on the comfort scale.

A worthy winner indeed for Interesting Socks of The Week, with an overall score of 9.85.

Well done to all concerned.

Home Education

This is what I does be doin and I has been doing it for neerly ten ears becoz I can teach my kids good and then they can be klevers, like wot I is.

Bad humour aside, the initial reasons for home education are often founded from negative experiences, and I guess it was largely for those unpleasant reasons that I decided to shun the current education system in England and wade out into an alternative system of education for our daughters.

It will be ten years this Autumn, and do I regret it?...Nope...not for a single moment. In fact this is probably the best decision I ever made in life and I'd do it all over again. Being a part of your childrens' education...learning alongside them, so that you also grow as an individual...just simply priceless.

Both our daughters have experienced mainstream school, which I think is important...but, at the end of the day, I know exactly what they are learning, and how they are learning it. I know that there are no restrictions on what they can, or cannot learn, and more importantly, so do they. They are aware of the world, and most importantly of their own English culture and history. They are not put onto 'dumb tables', nor made to feel that there is anything in life realistically outside of their understanding or potential mastery. They're treated like adults and respond as such. They are under no pressure to 'perform', to suit ridiculous education league tables, imposed by a government that simply does not have a clue and continues to ruin our national education system - once the envy of the world...now little more than a tragic joke.

Most importantly, we laugh. We have a blast and make learning fun...as it should be. Could I do this in a class of 30-35 disruptive kids in a mainstream school? Nah, probably not...nor would I really want to teach any kids who simply didn't want to learn about life, and explore everything around them with open minds and hearts. I think that would likely be a complete waste of time...I just feel sorry that there are many good, hardworking kids in schools across the land who won't be able to get the education they need, because of a few moronic and disruptive classmates, an education system that really doesn't work as it should and teachers who are under a mountain of pressure to perform, against ridiculous and unfair odds.

20 Years On...

T'was twenty years ago this very day that my wife and I went on our first ever date.

I remember cooking a meal. I remember us going out for a KFC at about 1am.

The bits inbetween are somewhat hazy.

It's like when you reach that level of drunkeness when time goes in small, jerky movements of clear recollection, surrounded by a sea of foggy shapes and sounds.

The meal must have been good...or perhaps the KFC was exquisite...or maybe, just maybe, the foggy bits inbetween were out of this world...but 1989 proved a good year in the fine and delicate art of romantic security as we first dated in February, engaged in August and married in December.

Cornwall

Cornwall...the most southwesterly county in England, and - trivia/anorak/nerd fact #1 - the only English county to only border one other.

Land of Arthurian legend, mystery and delicious cream teas. (More on cream teas to come, I'm sure...much more).

Having visited Cornwall now for some years, there isn't much of it I haven't gazed at/driven past/waved or whistled at/eaten my way through.

The British weather has been rather unkind to it in recent years, but it is still a favourite place to be...probably due to the many, quiet beaches and the oh-so rare sight for us Brits of clear, blue water - occasionally warm and inviting...especially if our traditional two weeks of Summer sunshine is kind and merciful.
Has the nastiest seagulls I've ever seen at St. Ives...real bruising, Conan The Barbarian type birds...who just swoop down and take what they want from the hands of unsuspecting tourists.

Saw my first dolphin here.
Rode my first horse here.
Would live here if I could afford to.
One fine day, when I finally get around to winning the lottery, then I shall.